Is a mother thinking of herself, being selfish?
Mothers: Do you remember the last time you took a nice long, relaxing bath?
Do you feel guilty about indulging in such activities because it could be spend doing the leftover ironing or hoovering which you have been putting off for days?
“ There’s no problem so awful, that you can’t add some guilt to it and make it even worse.”
― Bill Watterson, from The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
I was at a conference day before yesterday, which happens to be a saturday. While networking, i met a lady & the subject of motherhood came up. When she found out that i have 2 young kids, immediately her tone changed from friendly to accusatory. Asking me shouldn’t i be at home with the kids being a weekend as we already don’t spend enough time with our kids in today’s hectic lives?
Firstly, don’t we mothers feel enough guilt ourselves that someone else, in fact another mother wishes to burden your conscious further?
So i said, i spend many a special moments with my kids but i don’t need to be with them every second of the day, week or month. I’m here because i wanted to be here. I feel no shame in spending time & money on my personal development & networking with the like-minded people (allbeit on a saturday). On this very day, my kids are spending quality time with their dad & their aunt, they’ll be fed & well looked after in my absence & when i return home, the joy of listening to all their stories would be immense. So what is so harmful to them in such a situation that i should be worried about & heading home right now?
Needless to say that our conversation was cut short & she left with a disapproving look on her face.
It is a common belief in the society that if a mother puts her needs before her kids than she is being selfish. Really? What good a mother be if she is feeling ill, stressed & exhausted? What good a mother be if she isn’t able to stimulate all her senses? What good a mother be if she’s neglecting her health? What good a mother be if she’s loosing her mind in the vicious cycle of guilt?
PRESS STOP! Mothers, you need not feel guilty about looking after your needs, your health & well being.